There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
