i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
