just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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