Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
