Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying

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(765): View more from Indiana

I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.

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(407): View more from Florida

we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home

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(+61): View more from Australia

I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.

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