I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
