Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
