thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode