Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"