Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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