No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
where does the pee come out of this thing
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is Oprah even human
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
