Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
