So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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