So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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