You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize