ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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