He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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