Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
They have beer where we have blood.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
