She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
as a side note pls kill me
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
