he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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