Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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