Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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