i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
