fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
