Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
