I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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