i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize