I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize