i wish starbucks made bloody marys
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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