I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
