Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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