I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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