Don't you send me to vm
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize