i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
