It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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