Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
