Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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