I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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