the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please, let me fuck your mom
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
