and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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