Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
