i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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