Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
