I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
