woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
