looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize