What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
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My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize