he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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