Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

Fav 14 991 2757
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(954): View more from Florida

i just sent this text using only my big toe

Fav 22 6296 1207
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(203): View more from Connecticut

franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday

Fav 35 3619 928
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(330): View more from Ohio

Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

Fav 27 913 9500
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

(414): View more from Wisconsin

USA! USA! USA!

Fav 34 5068 1161
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(404): View more from Georgia

The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

Fav 42 6288 1724
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.

Fav 6 1854 1189
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(931): View more from Tennessee

Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far

Fav 8 471 800
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(812): View more from Indiana

the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.

Fav 2 374 225
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