Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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