Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
