Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
