Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
