if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
