i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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