You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize