he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
