All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
