It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
