New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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