I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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