i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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